How to Turn Down the Worry Brain (and Sleep Better!)

We have all experienced it - a sleepless night that is fueled by worry. This article found on the Psychology Today website dives into how to “…turn down the worry brain…” We hope that it will provide some information that will help you, should you find yourself in such a situation. View the article in its entirety at the URL below.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-well-being-toolkit/202102/how-turn-down-the-worry-brain-and-sleep-better

Here are three things to try when you find yourself stuck in a worry rut while you’re in bed. Try them individually, or do all three sequentially.

1. Widen the container.

There is an adaptation of a Buddhist teaching that is commonly shared: While a teaspoon of salt in a glass of water would be undrinkable, that same teaspoon of salt in a lake would hardly be noticed. Our worries can be like that salt. When we get caught in the narrative about our worries, and make that the focus, it can feel very distressing. When we can widen our container, and hold our worries against a more expansive backdrop, they take less hold. One of the ways we can learn to “widen the container” is through the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness has been shown to lessen anxiety in people who experience generalized anxiety. 

Try this: Imagine a beautiful blue sky and sense into the vastness of the sky that holds all of the passing clouds. As worries arise, name “worry thoughts” and imagine them like clouds passing by in the sky. You don’t have to stop the clouds. They will come and go. You don’t have to get pulled into the story of the worry. Just focus on the vast, expansive sky and every time a worry arises, see it like a cloud passing by in the vast sky. 

Alternatively, you could imagine your worries like waves that come and go in the ocean, and let your mind rest on the image of the vast ocean that holds the waves. Let the worries come and go like those waves, noticing their temporary nature as they return again and again into the vast ocean that holds it all. 

Notice and name “worries” each time they arise and then watch the wave or cloud fade as you focus on the vast container of sky or ocean. If you can imagine a benevolent or compassionate quality to the ocean or sky this adds an element of care that can be helpful for many people (see number 3 below).

2. Change the radio station.

Elisha Goldstein teaches that when we are engaging our mind in something in the present moment, this is incompatible with worry. I think of this as like changing the radio station. Instead of dialing into Worry 100 FM, we change the station to Present Moment 101, focusing on something in the present moment that involves our senses. Some of the best ways we can do this in the middle of the night are by focusing on sensations in our body or on the rhythm of our breath. To get a sense of this, you might check out Christopher Germer’s “Affectionate Breathing” or “Compassionate Body Scan” meditations.

Try this: To activate a different part of your brain than that worry loop, find sensations in the present moment to focus on. You might notice the warmth of the covers and the softness of the pillow and keep bringing your attention back to those sensations again and again, and the feeling of safety that accompanies this. You might notice the sensation of your body being supported by the bed and bring awareness to the places where your body is making contact with the support underneath you and keep returning your attention to the sensations of being supported (e.g., the softness of the pillow at the back of my head, firmness and warmth of the mattress under my back, etc.). You might notice the rhythm of your breath and imagine the breath like rhythmical waves at the ocean that soothe and wash away tension. You might also use your imagination to call up sensations, such as picturing yourself in a favorite vacation spot, using as much detail as possible, bringing all five senses into this experience.

3. Turn on your caring circuits. 

The worry loop is an old evolutionary response that is part of our survival brain. We also have circuits in our brain and body that help us feel safe and connected (our ventral vagal pathway). When we can activate these circuits they can help us to feel more calm.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, I find it helpful to treat my worry brain like a small, frightened child. I thank it for trying to protect me, but then remind myself that I have other ways that are actually more effective to help me feel safe.

Try this: Put a hand over your heart (which helps to calm the nervous system) and call up a feeling of being cared for. You might imagine a person or people in your life who care about you, as if they are with you, offering support and care through their presence. You might imagine a compassionate being such as a beloved mentor, spiritual teacher, or imagined being, offering you care and comfort. You might imagine offering this care and support to yourself in the way a loving parent might be with a small child. You might imagine being comforted in a beautiful place in nature. Use any imagery that is helpful to feel this sense of care, and imagine that it could surround you; that you could breathe it in, and it could fill you up with each breath.

Here is a final tip: Try not to focus on “trying” to sleep. Instead, focus on finding that “sweet spot” where your body and mind feel safe and supported in the comfort of your bed. Once you find that sweet spot, your body will know what to do to find its way back to sleep. And even if you are not sleeping, you’ll be creating a more soothing environment in which to rest and reset.